I’ll be happy when I get that perfect ATAR. I’ll relax once my university degree is over. I’ll feel satisfied once I get the job of my dreams. All I want in life is this next promotion.
In high school, I was obsessed with this idea of perfection and desperately wanting to be the best. My grades needed to be perfect; if I ever swam a race, second place was unacceptable and I hate to say that my first reaction to being a school vice captain was to cry because “vice” wasn’t good enough. I kept telling myself, I’ll be happy when…but that ‘when’ never came.
How often do you catch yourself saying that once I achieve ___, it will be good enough or I will finally be content. But what actually happens when you get to that goal you’ve been so desperately trying for? 15 seconds of satisfaction and pride. 15 seconds of finally feeling that you are enough. But in that 16th second, the feeling goes away and you pick another goal to strive for.
Don’t get me wrong, having goals is great but when does it stop? When do we finally hit the brakes and say, “hey i’m good here”? When do we finally stop treating happiness like a finish line that keeps moving further away?
The truth is, our own ambitions can be a double edged sword. They push us to work harder and achieve greatness but they also push us to believe that we aren’t good enough until we achieve those goals. And what’s worse, they always seem to be slightly out of reach.
I’ve been doing some digging, and there’s this thing called the ‘hedonic treadmill’. Fancy name, right? Basically it's the idea that our happiness levels return to a baseline after big events - good or bad. So, that euphoria from nailing a presentation or getting that promotion? It’s not a forever kind of thing. And that’s why the thrill fades, and we find ourselves seeking the next high.
Unfortunately, from experience I’ve found that the solution to this problem comes once we recognise and accept we have it. Until then, no matter how much someone tells you to take it slow or that you’re doing enough - it’s really hard to believe them. It’s hard to stop constantly chasing the unattainable, be present and know that we're doing okay. It’s difficult to allow ourselves to be happy now rather than “someday”. But it’s also immensely worth it.
We take a lot for granted, even though there is so much to be grateful for (especially the little things). The next time you find yourself incessantly chasing after that feeling, remember in the wise, wise words of Jim Carey “I have enough, I’ve done enough, I am enough”.
“You’re doing amazing sweetie” xx
Written by Chaahat Kadian
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